


two less lonely people

by darkhpotato



Series: pain; live with it or let go [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Betrayal, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Moving On, Moving Out, Unrequited Love, breakfree, letting go, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:07:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28192161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkhpotato/pseuds/darkhpotato
Summary: Jeno shook his head.” It was my mistake from the beginning; I chose to love you even though I knew that your heart belongs to someone else because I hoped that you will love me back if I gave you all my heart. But that didn’t happen, that’s why I am hurting. But I don’t want to wake up anymore carrying this pain that’s why I’m letting go of this one side love. I will let you go even though you were never been mine even after all these years. You were never mine because you never let me.”
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Series: pain; live with it or let go [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902016
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	two less lonely people

**Author's Note:**

> i miss this series so i'm posting another one without editing... i will get back to it when i am not busy. happy holidays and take care everyone.

Two less lonely people

“Where is Dr. Lee?” Jaemin looked up from computer as he faces his professor looking for Dr. Mark. By the looks and his tone, he is more than annoyed. It’s been months since Donghyuck left, he’s pleased that his rival gave up without a fight. Donghyuck made it easy for him; the only downside is that Mark wasn’t in his best behavior since then. He start to neglect his work, his profession that he worked hard for to find Donghyuck, to no avail no one’s telling Mark where the hell he is. Jaemin just let him, he gave him that, the time to overcome his broken heart, after all they’ve been together for so many years. Mark was just used to have Donghyuck around, now that he’s gone , it just felt new to him, sooner or later he will realize that he don’t need Donghyuck , that all he need is him, Jaemin in his life.

For now, he will lie for his benefit.

“He’s on his way Dr. Park.”

“Make sure of that.” His professor wanted to say more, he’s glad that Dr. Nakamoto asked something that took his attention away from further questioning. He shoots his friend a thankful glance as he took his phone and leave. He needs to call Mark and tell him to come no matter what. It’ll be hard for the both of them if he still fail to show up today.

Jaemin was welcomed by a dirty unit, he was here three days ago, he cleaned but everything is in chaos again. Empty cans everywhere, clothes scattered on the floor, the kitchen is on another level mess. He put down the groceries on the counter before he made his way to Mark’s room. He saw him facing down, his lower body covered by his blue duvet, he went to the window and pull off the curtain, the sunlight comes inside and hit Mark that made him wince.

“Close it.” he whispered. Jaemin ignored him; instead he sat down in his bed, beside Mark. He reeks of alcohol and smoke. Mark stop smoking two years ago, but he’s back at it again.

“Our Professors were looking for you.” Jaemin whispered as he massage Mark’s scalp, he expect that gesture makes Mark calm, but instead he covered himself with his blanket, as if shutting Jaemin, the only person who was left for him and will never leave him. “Mark you should come to work. Everyone misses you, I miss you. We miss the old you. ” Jaemin wishes to go back to those moments, though often times busy with works, case study and emergencies it was enjoyable. Those were their precious moments.

“I need to find Donghyuck first, I know I’m close. I know his family will tell me his location sooner. I need to talk to Taeil hyung again to ask him where he is hiding. I need to beg them more to his mother and sister. If they realize how sincere I am, maybe they will pity me and tell me where Donghyuck is.” Those words hurt Jaemin, he’s right beside him, but still he’s looking for someone who already left.

“Mark, he’s gone and he will never come back.” Pissed off, Jaemin can’t stop himself from saying that. Two months we’re enough to mourn about a lost love. He can’t help but grew impatience. 

“Stop it Jaemin, He will return, he loves me!” Mark uncovered himself and yelled those words at him. Voice rough and smell unpleasant. He can tell he’s not hitting the showers for days or even a week. Jaemin wanted to fire back with words, with realization, but those words were left unsaid when Mark started weeping. He tugged him closer to his chest; Mark wanted to break free from the hug but Jaemin just pulled him closer while whispering comforting words in his ear.

For he hopes those words will comfort himself too.

“I am here, I will never leave. I love you now and forever.”

He waited, just like how he did since college, but Mark answers were left unsaid.

…

Jeno kept his eyes at the papers in front of the coffee table. He’s waiting for Jaemin to come out from his room. It’s only the third times in a month that he went home, before ,though having an affair with Mark, he at least see him often in their house. But now that Donghyuck’s gone, Jaemin has a free access at Mark’s home. He didn’t question about that, for he always knew that, Mark will always be Jaemin’s first choice. He’s just a substitute and now, Jaemin no longer needs him.

It hurts so much, twice because he welcomed the pain to himself. For he knew all along what he what he put himself into when he agreed to Jaemin’s, but he believe Donghyuck words, he wanted to be happy. He deserves to be happy.

He looks at his phone; he read the open email from Donghyuck, the first that he received since he left.

**_I am happy now Jeno._ **

**_Please be happy as well._ **

**_Love yourself more, start with that._ **

**_Like how I did._ **

It was just a short message but those words gave him hope. If Donghyuck can, he knew he can do it too, that’s why he is making his decision now. But unlike Donghyuck he will face Jaemin; he will leave with no regret, so that he will never ever look back, no matter how much he will needed him in the future.

Because the tiny evil part of him praying that someday, Jaemin will needed him, someday Jaemin will regret not choosing him and when that realization comes he will not hesitate to turn him down. For now, he will focus on how he will heal himself.

Jaemin went out from his room having two bags in tow. Almost all his clothes were transferred to Mark. Slowly he’s moving out slowly thinking Jeno will get used to his absence, but Jaemin don’t need to.

“Jeno.” He called, Jeno looked up, greeting Jaemin with a tiny smile. The said boy looks apologetically at him.

“We need to talk.” He said when he heard no follow up from Jaemin after calling out his name.

“I guess we really need to.” Jaemin took the single couch opposite him; he put his hands in his thigh. “I’m sorry.” It was the first sorry that he received from him, after two months of neglecting him for Mark, Jeno received his first sorry. He wanted to laugh for how pathetic this sounds or how pitiful he felt, but Jeno thinks they’re just the same, him and Jaemin.

He’s busy chasing Jaemin, while Jaemin was busy chasing Mark.

“I know that wasn’t enough, you can resent me and never forgive me forever because I deserve it. You need to be happy Jeno, and being happy means you have to get rid of me from your life.”

Jaemin said like it was the easiest thing to, like if it was, Jeno already went with it, but that was poor Jeno months ago, now he is determined to end this misery.

Jeno pushes the paper in front of him.

“Our house contract, it will expire this weekend.” Jaemin took the papers, the said papers that they renew yearly since they decided to live together.

“Do I need to sign it now?”

“That’s on you. I’m moving out. I’ll be leaving the house in three days.” Jaemin look so shock at his revelation, maybe confuse that he never see it coming.

“Where will you move?”

Jeno shook his head. He has no plans to tell Jaemin his next plans; he wanted to start a new.

“I don’t think you deserve to know.” He answered blatantly, those words stabbed Jaemin like a knife but Jeno never regret that he threw those words; it’s not even derogatory.

“Jeno.” Jaemin sobs while calling his name again. Jeno felt so angry and betrayed, the old him will jump like a fool to wipe Jaemins’ tears. But right now, all he can feel is his own pain and his anger mix together. In a second Jaemin was kneeling in front of him, sobbing while holding his knees. He didn’t flinch; he didn’t succumb to the touch either.

“I’m sorry for what I did. You can curse me all you want; you can hurt me, if that will make you feel better, please?”

Jeno shook his head.” It was my mistake from the beginning; I chose to love you even though I knew that your heart belongs to someone else because I hoped that you will love me back if I gave you all my heart. But that didn’t happen, that’s why I am hurting. But I don’t want to wake up anymore carrying this pain that’s why I’m letting go of this one side love. I will let you go even though you were never been mine even after all these years. You were never mine because you never let me.”

Jeno left the house the next day afternoon, contrary on what he said to Jaemin. He erased all their traces together, he’s lucky he has no social media account. He’s ready to face his new journey.

He took out his new phone and opens his email. He composes a message for Donghyuck.

**_Donghyuck, you’ll be proud of me. I’m brave now. I let go._ **

**_When I find my happiness, let’s meet._ **

**_Let’s drink coffee together, my treat._ **

He pressed send and smile to himself. Without the baggage of uncertainty, Jeno knew he will be happy.

Happiness will come his way because that is what he truly deserves.

**_..._ **

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if i made the other members look bad, it's just a fanfic :)  
> i love them all but Hyuck is on another level, he's my son hahaha


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